The Aftermath
by paea101
Summary: This is a small snippet that I thought could take place after episode 2x04. What Clary is feeling, how everyone will react when they find out but also, what happens next. Please leave feedback as I am very interested!
1. Chapter 1

After the adrenaline rush started to dissipate, Clary stumbled over to the nearest seat and collapsed onto it. She couldn't believe what had happened tonight. She couldn't believe that her mother was actually dead.

She didn't realise that Simon had come in until he pulled back from his hug and asked her if she was ok.

"Clary what's wrong?" His face wore concern and she could barely breathe.

"Simon, I need to go" she whispered pleadingly. Her ribs felt like they were going to squeeze her to death her heart ached so badly and before he could respond, she shot passed him and made her way into the hall.

Jace was sauntering back to his bedroom when he heard pleads from that annoying vampire.

"Clary, please come back, what happened?. Before Jace could turn around, a fury of red hair bowled right passed him and continued barrelling down the hall. _"What the hell is that about? Lovers quarrel?"_ He thought.

Jace physically flinched at the word "lovers" for a moment but he quickly came back down to focus on the situation and before Simon was out of his reach, Jace shot a hand out and grabbed him by the arm.

"Simon, what happened to Clary?" Jace growled.

"Look I dunno, from the second we walked into that room nothing was ok, all she said was that she needed to go and then she left" Jace's head whipped up at that. "Needed to go? Needed to go where Simon?"

Simon was at a loss for words and before he could stutter anything, Jace was running to catch up to Clary and figure out what was going on.

 _Clothes, shoes, artist's pad, steele….._ As she was rattling off a mental packing list whilst walking to her room, she stopped and pulled the thin, cold metallic weapon from her pocket. As she held it in her hands and examined the runes on it, she thought about one of the last coversations she had with her Mom was about this stupid thing and that leaving it behind is dangerous…. _Mom…._ Images flashed of Alec throwing Jocelyn against the wall and plunging his hand into her chest and her heart being crushed. She remembers the dread she felt walking into her room and seeing her mother splayed on her floor.

 _Get a grip of yourself Clary, falling apart here will help no-one, Mom is gone and you can't change that. Its just you and Simon now._

Clary slowed her breathing, deeply inhaled and as she was starting to walk back to her room, she felt a warm hand at the small of her back. She turned around to stare right up into the eyes of a worried Jace. He was saying something yet she couldn't make out what it was as there was a loud ringing in her ears. Jace's hands came up to softly cup around her face.

"Clary, Clary can you hear me? What happened? Where's Jocelyn?"

Only one word escaped her lips. Only one syllable was enough to break his heart for Clary.

"Dead"

The first thought that jumped into Jace's mind was that Valentine still had him locked up in a chamber somewhere and that he had passed out from all the beatings. Half of him hoped that that was the case.

"Clary what…I don't understand…she was just…." How do you respond when you are told that the mother you never knew, who also tried to kill you, was dead? Clary used this moment of confusion to slip out of his hands and to make her way back to her bedroom.

She stopped. The last time she saw this door, a confused and bloody Alec sat just in front of it. Clary took a deep breath and rounded the corner. Jocelyn's body was gone. It seems as though someone took care of her while Clary was fighting the demon. _"Thanks"_ she thought sarcastically.

There was still a pool of thick blood next to where her mother's body was but she couldn't think about that. She walked over to her closet, pulled out a large duffel bag and began filling it with the items that she had arrived with.

A body slammed into her doorway but she knew who it was.

"Clary you can't just say something like that and then disapp…" Jace trailed off and when she turned around, he was staring at the notable amount of blood on the floor.

"What happened?" Jace's voice was frantic. Clary sighed and walked over to the bed and sat down. "Alec.." she began. Jace's head whipped around to her and she saw a mix of confusion and anger in his eyes but before he could say anything, she went on.

"When you were gone, Valentine released a demon into the Institute. It possessed people and then killed others by…" Clary had to take a deep breath before she continued as she was shaking. "The possessed people would smash their hands through the ribcage of their victims and then crush their hearts."

A single tear rolled its way down her face but as much as she wanted to curl up and cry till there were no more tears left, she stood up and continued packing. Her reasoning was that if she wasn't at the Institute anymore, she wouldn't feel all of this pain anymore so her only one goal was to keep packing and then to disappear. She didn't hear Jace move until he was right behind her.

"Clary please, you can't leave" he pleaded with her but it was no use. Once Clary made her mind up, there was no reasoning with her.

"I can't be here anymore. I cannot live in the same place where my mother was murdered!"

"We can work together to find Valentine, to kill him" Tears were building up in his eyes and he honestly could not tell if it was the missed opportunity to get to know his mother or if was the fact that the girl he wasn't supposed to love, was walking out on him.

She zipped up her bag as Simon appeared in her doorway and before Simon could get a word in, she silenced him with a look that said _Please, not now_.

He nodded his head in acknowledgement and she pushed passed a frozen Jace to get to the door.

Simon stared down at an exhausted Clary. "Are you sure about this?" He could see the internal battle raging in her head. Thoughts and questions flittering one after another until she looked up at him and replied " I came to The Institute to find my Mom and now that she's gone, so am I."

Simon grabbed her duffel bag and trailed behind her as she led the way to the main entrance. She was a few steps from it when she heard Alec calling after her.

She turned around to see Jace, Isabelle and finally Alec. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy and for a moment she felt a pang of pity for him until she looked down at his arms and clothes and saw that they were still stained red from her mothers blood.

"Clary I'm sorry...I didn't mean to...I…"

The guilt he felt couldn't be comprehended into words.

She walked up to him and while everyone was preparing for her to slap him or yell at him, what she did instead was just as surprising. She took his hands in hers and looked up at him.

"Alec" she whispered "I don't blame you, you were possessed. But every time I look at you, it hurts...so much and I can't be here anymore. You were right, this isn't my world and I don't belong here."

With that, she let his hands go and walked back to Simon waiting by the entrance.

"Clary don't go" Jace was right there, tears still streaming down his face. With her hand on the door, she looked back at him one last time and said words that he will never forget.

"You have to let me go"

Before he could argue, she and the vampire were gone. Three Shadow hunters at the beginning and three Shadow hunters at the end.


	2. The Funeral

Looking at herself in Luke's mirror, Clary honestly thought that when she attended a celebration in all white, it would be her normal mundane wedding, not her mother's shadowhunter funeral.

" _How strange"_ she thought to herself " _To wear white to a funeral."_

The only time Clary had been to a funeral was when she was seven. Her elderly neighbour's cat Squiggle had died. Squiggle had a multitude of bald patches from where his hair would fall out in clumps, he never wanted to eat anything and hated people even coming near him. When he passed, his neighbour Elaine carefully laid him in an old shoe box, invited Clary and Jocelyn over and performed a solemn funeral.

Clary couldn't really tell what was going on as Elaine sounded as though she was choking on her words and would regularly stop to blow her nose.

Jocelyn and Clary exchanged confused looks throughout the 40 minute service and when it was over, Jocelyn wrapped her arms around the mourning elder and quickly ushered her inside before she could continue.

That night when Clary was getting ready for bed, Jocelyn took the opportunity to really explain what happens when someone dies and that it's ok to be sad.

Clary chuckled at herself. Somehow she doesn't think that a cat's funeral counts as going to a funeral.

She saw Luke's head pop into her room in the mirror. "You ready kiddo?"

The bright white suit he has on beautifully contrasts with his dark skin and yet the only thing she can see is the sadness and loneliness in his eyes. Guilt washed over Clary like a wave. She forgets that she is not the only person who lost somebody they loved.

She walks over to him and hugs him tightly. He smells of old spice. "I guess so" she mumbles. She was not ready. Not even one bit.

"Ok" he straightens up "You get the rest of your stuff and I will be in the truck." Clary nods and he turns and walks away.

She grabs her phone and her jacket, locks the house behind her then climbs into Luke's truck. The ride to The Institute is silent and the air is filled with sorrow. Neither one can bring themselves to say anything. What more is there to say that hasn't already been said? She looks at her phone and sees 12 text messages all from Simon saying things along the lines of "You can do this Fray" and "If you need me, I will find a way to be there."

She smiles sadly at herself, of course Simon can't be there. As per the Shadowhunter's stupid rules, a Shadowhunter funeral has to be performed at midday when the sun is at its highest point. She can't believe that not only does she have to go to her mom's funeral but she has to go without her best friend. Unfair.

Izzy passes Jace's room and looks in when she hears a frustrated sigh. He is sitting on the edge of his bed with a crumpled and un-made tie hanging from around his neck. She walks over to him, puts her bag down and starts to tie it for him.

"Tell me what you are thinking Jace." Her fingers work quickly and efficiently, the tie is already finished before he begins to speak.

"I haven't talked to her in two weeks, she wouldn't respond to any of my calls or texts and to top it off, I am going to my mother's funeral and I don't feel sad. How messed up is that?"

Jace felt the bed sink next to him and Izzy took a moment to contemplate her words.

"It's not wrong to feel nothing Jace, you barely even knew her and as for Clary, she needs time to breathe and sort herself out, you just need to give her space. Now hurry up we have to be there soon." With that sage advice, she hopped off the bed and exited his bedroom.

" _She's right"_ He thought. He pocketed his Steele, took one last look in the mirror and left.

The Institute overlooks a graveyard that is peppered with colourful flowers and towering trees. If it weren't so depressing, it could almost pass as beautiful. The dates on the graves were hundreds of years old but you wouldn't know it by looking at the graveyard as the upkeep was immaculate. The lawns were neatly mowed, the weeds surrounding the flowers had all been trimmed away and any debris and leaves from the trees had been removed.

Jace decided it was time to greet guests and as he was making his way towards the front doors of the institute, he peered out the window and saw her. Her white sundress and flaming red hair billowed in the breeze and he stopped breathing for a second. He saw her standing at the front steps of The Institute. Jace saw the hesitation in her eyes, she was trying to force herself to move forwards and yet her feet wouldn't move. Her furrowed brow basically told him what she was thinking.

She was deciding whether it was worth going in. The last time she had been here, her mum had been murdered, she fought off a parasitic demon her father had unleased upon the institute and it was when she had turned her back on being a Shadowhunter.

He saw her pause for a second and then close her eyes. Jace saw her inhale deeply and then he saw the fire in her eyes when she opened them. With her chin held high, she made her way up the steps and pushed her way through The Institute doors.

All of the wind was knocked out of her as soon as she stepped inside. Memories of that awful night flooded her mind and she couldn't breathe. _"Is it too late to turn back and leave?"_ one part of her asked, but as much as it made her skin crawl to be here overall, she was here for her mum.

"Are you ready?"

Alec sat in the library staring at the roaring fire. A whiskey in his hand told Magnus that no, he probably was not ready.

Magnus knelt next to Alec and pried the drink from his hand. He could see dark circles were a regular occurrence under his eyes and the eyes themselves were blank.

"Alec baby, can you hear me, are you ready?" Magnus tried one more time. Blank eyes slid to his and Magnus felt a chill run through the room. He had never seen him like this before. Alec let out a mumble that sounded almost like an agreement, Magnus took his hand, pulled him up and they made their way out of the Library.

Clary looked around. White candles were perched on every available surface. She made her way through the labyrinth of halls until she found one she recognized. Images of a confused Simon and a frantic Jace were etched into the memory of this particular hall. Painful ghosts swirled around her as she recalled the last time she was here.

She kept walking this hallway until she found a familiar looking door. Her room. Her _old_ room, she corrected. Her hand stopped and she paused, her fingers ghosted the metallic doorknob unsure of whether she actually wanted to go in or not. She took two slow, deep breaths, turned the door knob and pushed.

Cool air rushed at her and she had to adjust her eyes to the light streaming in from the nearby window. As her eyesight adjusted, she could make out her bed, chest of drawers and the trunk sitting at the end of her bed. Someone had come in and tidied up a bit, her bed was immaculately made and of course the glaring pool of blood had been cleaned up and there was no sign that her mother had ever died in here.

Despite all that went down here, she still felt a familiar sense of longing being at The Institute and in this room. A small feeling of family and belonging lingered in these walls.

"Clary, you made it"

Izzy stood in her doorway and as per usual she wore a white, figure hugging, floor length dress that accentuated her curves and yet for Izzy, it was also quite modest. Clary was impressed, only Iz could pull something like that off.

"To my mother's funeral? Yeah…I made it" Clary responded.

"oh sh..thats not what I meant." Izzy stammered and as she moved further into the room, Clary chuckled.

"I know what you meant, I'm just not having the greatest day". Izzy's eyes were searching Clary's face. She hadn't talked to her in two weeks and for Izzy, that was too long. Before Clary could keep talking, she couldn't breathe. Izzy wrapped her arms around Clary's withering frame in an iron grip. "IZZY!" she gasped "Too. Hard!"

At once Iz let go and wiped a tear from her eyes. "I am sorry I just missed you so much. It's been lonely without you." Clary and Izzy had never really been ones to talk about feelings and emotions, so she was shocked to see tears from one of the strongest women she ever knew and to hear those words.

More guilt bloomed in her chest as she never thought about how this affected Izzy and from what she could see, it affected her a lot. Clary saw the recognition in Izzy's eyes as she realised she was about to lose what little control she had left over her tears.

"OK" She cleared her throat. "The service starts in 15 mins" she stated backing up towards the door and refusing to make eye contact with Clary. "See you down there" and with that, Izzy was gone.

 _If there was a list for worst days in my life, this would hands down make the top of the list_

An ivory casket with shimmering silver runes on it, stood on the middle of the cemetery in front of a hole in the ground and next to a mound of dirt. A group of people had already gathered in front of it and Clary could see that Luke, Izzy, her parents and Alec were already there. Jace and Magnus were nowhere to be found. As she made her way towards the group, she paused. Being up front and centre was not where she wanted to be right now and instead of sitting down with the others, she kept to the back of the crowd and leaned next to a tall oak tree. Sunlight filtered through the leaves and spots of her pale skin started to warm up. She felt his presence before he even said anything.

"Clary?" She closed her eyes and refused to turn to look at him. He sounded so broken and it took everything for her not to turn around and envelop him in a hug.

"Clary, please turn around." She could feel his breath on the back of her neck as he whispered. Goosebumps radiated down her forearms and she let out a deep breath. Turning around, she looked into the brilliant-but lonely- multi coloured eyes of Jace. Her heart melted when she set her eyes on him.

"How have you been?" she asked.

"You want the truth?" His question was contemplative.

"No Jace" she replied sarcastically. "I really want you to lie to me." Her dry wit on such an unhappy day made him smile reluctantly.

"It's been pretty bad here. Alec is in a deep depression which Magnus has been trying to coax him out of, Izzy acts like everything is ok but I can see there is sadness behind her façade, the Lightwoods are playing crisis management with both The Institute and The Clave and me… I miss you."

He was talking so fast that she barely heard the last sentence. Her breath hitched and before she knew it, her arms were around his torso. Her head was tucked underneath his chin and she could hear his heart pounding. The feeling of his arms around her provided a feeling of safety and support, something she hadn't felt since her mum died.

As she pulled away, she turned back towards the service, Luke was now standing giving his eulogy of Jocelyn. How they first met, when he knew he was in love with her, them moving to New York City. _He really loved her_ she thought _and freaking Valentine ruined their happiness for the second time._ Clary felt an intense hatred well up inside of her. _Valentine won't get away with this, he will lose, even if I have to do it by myself._


End file.
